Why I No Longer Want to Be in a Relationship Now That I Am
Alternative titles:
Why Iāve Always Wanted to Be in a Committed Relationship but Now That I Finally Am, I No Longer Want to Be
That Moment When Youāve Been Single Your Whole Life, Get a Boyfriend, and Donāt Enjoy It
Why I No Longer Enjoy Being in a Relationship
Hehe, got u right there, sorry for the clickbait-y title but thatās one of the only ways for a silly blogger like me to get noticed.
Disclaimer: I am in a committed relationship and happy about it.Ā
Disclaimer 2: In case youāre new here. My humorās questionable. Not everybodyās cup of tea. Take everything I say with a grain of salt. Donāt take what I say literally. (to my bf: if you happen to read this, especially not you). Nika Bura is satire with a twist. Proceed with caution.
Iāve been single longer than Iāve been taken so there were obviously things I looked forward to doing with a partner by my side!
But itās not all as rosy as it seems.
Thereās another side to the coin.
Itās not always greener on the other side.
Ok, I shall stop with the idioms now.
The things I looked forward to while single now piss me the fuck off.
Hereās a list of six things I absolutely longed for as a single, but fucking hate now that I am in a relationship.
1) CUDDLING
When I was still single and would as much as think of having someone to always cuddle with, Iād beam with joy. Physical touch at my disposal? SIGN ME UP. But itās not all that. Cuddling with your partner isnāt as cool if you suddenly have them breathing down your neck, breathing in your nostrils. So much breathing, geezus. And so loudly. Cuddles are no fun if you (or them) are heating up like a radiator, which in return, makes you sweat like a pig. Even worse if you have long hair and they accidentally step on it. Fuck. That. Shit.
2) WATCHING NETFLIX TOGETHER
While I was single and binged show after show all on my own, I enjoyed it, but I also imagined how it would be like to do that with someone sitting next to me. I looked forward to watching Netflix with my partner. Who would have thought it was gonna be this hard to decide on something tho. Especially when tastes are so different. Sure, we compromise. Which works surprisingly well. Iāve watched so much awesome stuff I never would have on my own. Same goes the other way. I mean, hello. Iāve introduced him to the fabulous world of teen dramas/movies. La CrĆØme de la CrĆØme. But it all doesnāt matter coz netflix and chill sucks, man. Itās not great. Not when I fall asleep and he continues watching without me. Not when thereās no subtitles, and I canāt hear a thing. Itās stress-inducing. Itās pure panic. Itās crippling anxiety. Let me binge alone. And in peace.
3) COMMUNICATING
The irony of writing professionally and for fun yet not being able to do so when it comes down to it face-to-face. LISTEN. I am gonna be very vulnerable with yāall right now. Iām almost 30. And pride myself on having done quite some a bit of work on myself. Ya know. With self-awareness comes improvement. Or so I have thought. I genuinely believed I had my emotions and communicative skills in check. At bay. So naturally, I was thrilled to finally put that under the test, so to say. To share it all with my special someone. But then I was flabbergasted. Nobody told me communicating was this hard when you care about making it work?! Dafuq? I have to open up, be vulnerable, wear my heart on my sleeve? And why? All because I care about someone? This shit sucks. All the self-help books and TikTok vids did NOT prepare me for this. I was figuratively pushed into the cold water. I was humbled. Humbled to my core. My communication skills are terrible.
4) SHARING THINGS
Let me preface this by saying that I am not an only child. And no, I donāt believe someone who is one has trouble with sharing. Whatever. I donāt care what anyone says but, sharing is not caring. I put that soap there for a reason. That shampoo. Itās for me. That snack. Itās for me. That pillow. Itās for me. Not for you. I do not share. If I was single, it would all still be there. Untouched. Uneaten. Clean.Ā
5) SHOPPING TOGETHER
Hear me out. I love shopping together. But I love shopping on my own way more. Because I get jealous of how easily he finds clothes that fit. The second he walks into a store and tries something on, it fits. It fucking fits. Meanwhile, it takes me forever to find something.
6) PRIORITIZING SOMEONE OTHER THAN MYSELF
Itās one thing to prioritize myself. My work. My hobbies. My social life. Itās another thing to prioritize ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. Ugh, one more person to give a shit about. And one more person at the risk of being lost. Yikes. I don’t know the word for it but I feel like I’m someone who easily picks up on someone elseās mood. And it sort of reflects on me. Like, if you’re in a silly mood, I am. if you’re in a happy mood, I am. If you’re in a low mood, I am. Itās exhausting being this intuitive, u guyz. And I am working on not being as affected by it. But still. As cringe as it sounds, their pain is my pain. Their happiness is my happiness. I want to support my partner, see them succeed, see them do great things. Just the thought of losing them or them being in danger, hurt, whatever, ngl, it fucking terrifies me. It’s scary opening your heart so wide. It’s like itās being stretched. Stretched wide apart and you’re in constant fear of it breaking in pieces. But that shitās elastic. At least it has been so far. I suppose thatās part of it, huh. I might just have to accept the elasticity and the potential risk that carries. This whole relationship-y stuff feels like youāre back in school, swinging in your chair and balancing the shit out of it, trying really hard not to fall over. Iām constantly swinging, goddammit.