Why You Shouldn’t Get Euphoric About Dating, Men, and Dating Men (Part 1)

Why You Shouldn’t Get Euphoric About Dating, Men, and Dating Men (Part 1)

Because they’re like underdeveloped apps.

 

Thehe, the title is a bit daring, ain’t it. Oh well, at least I got your attention now.

I love men. Sometimes, I love dating. So, I guess this makes me someone who loves dating men (?). Dating, men, and dating men can be fun and all, but boi, don’t you dare get euphoric about it.

First dates shouldn’t even be called first dates, imo. They should be called zero dates, or pre-dates, or da’s (imagine saying ‘Let’s go on a da?’). Anything BUT first dates. The second date is the real first date, if you ask me. Provided, we even get there lmaooo amirite #foreveralone #justsinglethings #undateable 

Whatever, back to the topic!!!!

You shouldn’t get hyped about first dates with men because they’re only like an alpha version, or rather, alpha testing of a date. 

I don’t mean alpha as in.. alpha males? Picture your average American 1980s action movie star here. I mean alpha in a technological context. 

You know when an app comes out? The software will be in its early stages, and therefore kinda shaky, right? However, it still gives you somewhat of a sneak peek of what this version’s about! It’s not perfect though, not complete. Remember, there will most likely be a bunch of bug fixes yet to come.* 

So don’t get your hopes up.
See it for what it is.
Don’t dedicate the majority of your screen time to this app.
Put down your rose-colored glasses.
Don’t trust the preview just yet.
Remain skeptical. Remain rational.
Trust their actions, not their words. 

We don’t care about what the developer of this app version is saying online. “Oh, this app can do X and Z!!! Download me, NOW!” No. We care about user-friendliness, responsiveness, how it makes us feel while we use it. We don’t care about its possibility, its potential. It’s too damn early for that.

There is also another thing called the beta version, or the beta testing date.

Sometimes it comes much later, other times close or right after the alpha version. There is no timeline to this. It may appear to be better than its precursor, but again, don’t be fooled.

You still gotta keep your guard up. Ask questions, ok? Gather your pros and cons, your flags, the red ones, the orange ones, and the green ones too, sure. You are here to give feedback as well, btw. So be responsive. Write a customer review. The developer is gonna want you to engage. The developer might give you the impression he is perfect and complete this time around but he, in fact, (still) is not. 

I’ve also read there’s gamma testing and something called release candidates..? But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I haven’t reached those yet, so nothing to report on that front. 🥲

Spoiler alert: I used to get euphoric about alpha dates if they went perfectly. Or beta ones. I don’t anymore. I’ll tell you why in part 2.

I know this was a lot. You can tell me it was. I won’t be mad. I just don’t feel like explaining this in easier terms. You can put two and two together, right?

Ehh you know what. I have a heart of gold. I am a kind soul. And I feel sorry for y’all. So I’m gonna try to sum it up. What I’m basically saying is that first dates are hellaaa unpredictable, they can go from 0 to 100 sometimes, or from 0 to 0, lol. Just be aware of it and make sure to keep all expectations and hopes to a minimum, regardless. Idk, just enjoy the ride (or not)? I’m not a dating coach (or software developer lol), I don’t know what to tell you. 

As you must have seen in the title, this was part 1. Which means there will be a part 2. Which I have already said a few paragraphs before, I am aware, yes. Anyway. Keep your eyes peeled for that cuz then we’re gonna dig deeper and get…gasp, personal. 

 

*Bro, I so hope I got this right, I just got this from Wikipedia. Don’t quote me on this.