A List Of Things I Am Good At
because there are so many more lists of things I suck at, but ain’t nobody got time to focus on that.
You ever have those days where you can only focus on the things you suck at? I’m sure you do. I am currently going through that phase, but instead of dwelling on what a pathetic loser I am, I love to channel emotions as these into something great. So here’s a listicle of things I am good at, enjoy.
1 I am good at eating all of the broccoli on my plate.
Sometimes, I even eat the broccoli off of other people’s plates. No joke. They either offer it to me themselves because they hate it, like my work colleague this one time at our work christmas party. Or, they offer it to me because from the kindness of their soul, since they know I love it.
2 I am good with anxiety.
It sounds like a paradox, how can you be good at something that is so debilitating, right? But it’s no joke, I am. In my opinion, the worst things are the ‘first’ times you experience anxiety-related things. First time panic attack? Big deal. Second, third and any subsequent ones? Not so much, because you already went through the motions. You know what to anticipate. First time experiencing physical symptoms that are anxiety-induced? Big deal. Second, third, etc time? Not so much. You just know it’s in your head and carry on with your day. With that sort of thing (or anything in life, really) I believe what helps me is to carry that “after the worst, it can only get better” sort of mentality with me.
3 I am good with physical pain.
Over the years, I have come to the realization that my threshold for pain is pretty damn high. From tears-inducing, ‘I wanna get out my ovaries with my bare hands’ kind of menstrual cramps during my teen years, to a couple severe fractures in my adult years, I am a champ at enduring physical pain. Again, same kind of mantra actually: “after the worst, it can only get better.” Though I have to admit, stubbing my toe still hurts like a motherfucker! But that seems to be a universally shared, inexplicable pain or something.
4 I am good at sensing bad blood between people in a room.
I have never told anyone about this secret superpower because I don’t mean to brag1, but often when I am at a place somewhere, I can feel when the vibe is off between other people. Now I can’t tell for sure, it’s not like I go up to people and ask: “Excuse me, are you going through a divorce?” or “Did you just have a fight with your boyfriend?” but I would swear on the grave of my dead grandparents that I know something’s off. It’s a mixture of mimic, body language and general smell of depression in the air.
5 I am good at crying.
Whether it’s from laughter or pain related to the death of a protagonist on a show I am binging, I am fabulous at crying. In fact, I am the best at crying from onions being cut. And I don’t mean when I cut them, I mean when I am several rooms away, and cry harder than my mom who is actually the one cutting the onions in the kitchen.
6 I am good at making obnoxious instastories.
Ask my followers, they love me on there.2 I make the most annoying instastories yet at the same time, everyone keeps watching. It’s like watching a terrible accident where you can’t look away. This is probably the only reason anyone follows me in the first place; to follow my shenanigans.
7 I am good at not taking customers’ complaints to heart.
Don’t laugh at me, but when I started working in retail for the first time a few years ago, my biggest fear had actually been how I will handle potential confrontations with angry customers. In the past, I have always considered myself to be the least confrontational person ever. I would rather experience discomfort than initiate a fight. The reason for this was because I assumed I could not handle the emotional backlash that would follow after any sort of confrontation. Naturally, when I started retail, I assumed I was weak and would break under the pressure of having a customer attack me for some petty bullshit. Turns out I was wrong. Never was I emotionally affected by anything a customer has done or said so far, yay me. I only talked back once to some asshole customer but that was it, I swear.
8 I am good at writing to-do lists.
On my phone, in my journal, on my icalendar, on my mac’s sticky notes, on actual real-life paper sticky notes. I am the best at it.
9 I am good at procrastinating.
Right now, I am supposed to write my Master’s thesis and make two important doctor’s appointments but instead, I am writing this stupid list.
1 Well yes, I do now
2 I meant my private Instagram account. I’m kinda embarrassed to make that one public, lol.